The Ninth Gate (1999) is a sub-par movie that might nail wealthy Satanism hobbyists for the hacks they are if those people even existed and pales in comparison to its distant ivy league cousin Eyes Wide Shut (1999). Spoilers for the first one, not really the other one.
If you’ve ever wondered about the secret lives of the rich-but-not-famous-but-also-horny then these movies are for you. As they would tell it, wealthy folks are horny and will stop at nothing to get off with other horny (and often elderly) wealthy folks. For them that means throwing a “hail Satan” sex shindig once a year or running an elaborate password-protected (it’s fidelio, sorry) orgy.
Is there any truth to these stories? The Ninth Gate is about a one-of-three first edition of a rare Satanist book being tracked down to summon Satan and achieve 20 years of pleasure followed by eternal damnation so in the case of that movie no. This is where Eyes Wide Shut differs because there is a degree of possibility in the events. There are conspiracies that the Illuminati killed Stanley Kubrick because Eyes Wide Shut was revelatory of their secret practices or something. Personally it seems like a load of bologna but generally the events of that movie are somewhat set in reality. I did a little research into the idea of “Satanic ritual abuse” as it pertains to these movies (literally and figuratively) and found that some people still believe the child sacrifices and cannibalism are very real and are happening all the time.
It is hard to tell whether it is irony or sincerity, but you still have tweets like this via Andy Richter. The 9th Gate may have some degree of reality but otherwise it’s total fantasy, unlike what these people may want you to believe.
At their core these films associate being rich with hedonism, secret societies, and Satan. Which brings me to the question: would these people be opening themselves up to Satan if they did not have all the dough in the world to do so?
I’m a little out of my depth here but I’m pretty sure actual Satanists of whatever socioeconomic status would take issue with being represented as rich murderous jerks. Or maybe they just accept that there are very few civil representations of Satanism in film and television–save for Gilfoyle from Silicon Valley and maybe Torgo from Manos: The Hands of Fate–and do as they wilt. (Upon some further research conspiracy theorists take issue with even Gilfoyle as an Illuminati plant. I can’t make this up and watching their videos about it is as enjoyable as licking a belt sander so I’m going to leave it. It’s nice to question reality on occasion but searching “silicon valley satanism” on YouTube was seriously mind-numbing).
Anyway most of The Ninth Gate is lightly entertaining but vapid leading up to the climax.
The climax is the most memorable part of The Ninth Gate and I would wager humorous (intentionally or not). To put it simply: the rich bratty Satanist lady gets the book and gets all of her aging, wealthy horny friends together to have an orgy under the guise of summoning Satan. Then just as they’re getting good and randy the dork who hired Johnny Depp storms in and kills the Satan lady and it’s a major turn-off for all involved. Before he chokes her with her Hot Topic pentagram necklace he tells them all how LAME they are and that they’re a bunch of old phonies.
It’s not a scene played for laughs really, in fact the entire movie teeters on the brink of humor. The most humor comes from the sheer nonsense that seems to be happening in hapless Johnny Depp’s wake–what seemed like a simple job of getting a dusty old book became more complicated by the day as forgeries and other distractions creep in. I will give minor props to the design of the “gate” illustrations in the books as those are creepy and intriguing to look at. There are some pretty nice sets and filming locations too. The score, however, sounds like it was written for an Indiana Jones knock-off. It’s silly! Was it supposed to be? In this case most likely not.
In the end we’re left with Johnny Depp making stiff, book collector love to Satan and being given the location of the actual 9th engraving which enables him to enter the titular gate. This gets him anything he wishes for 20 years then an eternity in hell cursing God.
Maybe the biggest joke of all in this movie is that the guy who wanted nothing more than a paycheck ended up harnessing the power of Lucifer instead of the guy who manipulated him and calculated for years on how to summon the Devil but ended up burning himself to death like a dumbass.
Eyes Wide Shut, in comparison, is better on pretty much every conceivable level having happened to come out the same year. That’s possibly because it was directed by someone who wasn’t banned from the United States permanently for being an egregious sex criminal.
Bottom line: Watch Eyes Wide Shut if you’re interested in this subject matter as it is a work of emotional brilliance whereas The Ninth Gate is National Treasure but with Satan. Maybe that’s a little unfair…
.
.
.
(to National Treasure).
hang out/hang ten 